I remember pulling into the parking garage, turning off my car and sitting in the silence, thinking, “Maybe this would all be so much easier if I just wasn’t alive anymore.” I starting thinking about all of the things that kept me going, the things that helped me push forward, the things that made all … More James conquers nuts.
I want my heart to be broken. And I want it to hurt. That gnawing, empty, breath-taking heartbreak. You know the feeling, right? I definitely know it. I’ve spent my life relentlessly attempting to avoid it. It absolutely terrifies me. But in spite of my constant efforts, I’ve still had my heart broken at least … More I want a broken heart.
I’ve always hated running. It’s a reasonable hatred, I think. When I was younger, I had a bunch of health problems, including asthma, which made running a truly painful experience. Every time I ran, my lungs felt like they were being set on fire and ripped out of my chest, I was immediately struck with … More I ran until I cried.
I read the first chapter of a self-help book yesterday and it shattered my view of the world. Now, I’ve read plenty of self-help books in my day. It’s a hobby of mine, I suppose. Books on being a better writer, musician, building confidence, charisma, how to have better conversations, study more effectively. The list … More I’m a recovering ‘nice guy’.
My time living in Portland, OR has felt like a single blink of my eyes. I moved here in late August of 2013 and since then, I have constantly been studying for an exam or training for a martial arts competition. It’s been relentless and exhausting. That is, until a few weeks ago. I took … More A few words on my goals and accomplishments.
I knew I was pushing myself to my limit, but I thought I could handle it. My plan was to take my first set of board exams to become a licensed naturopathic doctor on a Tuesday and fight at a Muay Thai event on the following Saturday. From the moment my school term ended until … More It’s not about being unbreakable.
During my first week of medical school at NCNM, I met up with a veteran student to get some advice and ask about his experiences at the school. He kept mentioning the word “burnout” like it was a disease or something. Some virus that students inadvertently and unavoidably give to each other. A rite of passage … More Hi, I’m James and I suffer from burnout.
I’m a second-year medical student. And a fighter. Some would say I lead a dual life. I don’t see it that way, but there is definitely a giant gap between these two aspects of my life. I end up feeling a bit misunderstood. The people I train with mostly assume that I take a part-time … More 5 profound life lessons I learned from losing a Muay Thai fight.
For the past couple months, I’ve been preparing for a Muay Thai fight while also diligently studying in medical school. It was a relentless schedule of 12-15 hour days filled with extreme mental and physical exertion. I was constantly exhausted. There were days when I barely had enough physical energy to stand up or enough … More The lover and the fighter in me.
A few days from now, I will compete in my first Thai Boxing fight. Training for this fight has been pretty difficult for me. I’m also in medical school, which in itself is a pretty busy life and adding the immense amount of athletic training required for a fight has been among the most grueling … More I fight because I’m broken.