“I think I’ve given up on being a doctor. Med school (on the ridiculous off chance that I was miraculously accepted) would be a nightmare. I hate tests. I suck at tests. That’s all med school is – tests.” That’s a little excerpt from my journal in 2011 while I was still working on my … More Well, I’m still a terrible doctor.
I read the first chapter of a self-help book yesterday and it shattered my view of the world. Now, I’ve read plenty of self-help books in my day. It’s a hobby of mine, I suppose. Books on being a better writer, musician, building confidence, charisma, how to have better conversations, study more effectively. The list … More I’m a recovering ‘nice guy’.
I’m terrified of flying but it doesn’t matter. I sat on the plane as it rolled around the airport through the thin, misty Portland rain. As the plane picked up speed and forced the rain to hit the windows harder, I felt the familiar sensation of gut-wrenching, out-of-control terror flicker to life inside me. It … More Airplanes, Loneliness, Heartbreak and Eye Contact.
It was dark when I woke up this morning. It’s always dark when I wake up. Lately, though, it’s been cold, too. I wear long fleece pants and a big, fluffy robe. I put on my warm slippers and check if I can see my breath as I slowly exhale. I turn the heater on … More Quiet, lonely mornings – My daily ritual.
I recently started my third year (out of four) in medical school at NCNM. Third year is where the transition from student to doctor officially begins, with the start of the internship. It’s finally my opportunity to interact with real patients and start applying all of the knowledge that’s been smashed into my head over … More It’s official: I’m a terrible doctor.
I’ve been feeling a bit lost. It was bound to happen, I suppose. I’m halfway through my four-year medical school adventure and it’s been almost eight years since I first made the life altering decision to become a doctor. Since that cool November evening when I was lying on my back with my arms behind … More Don’t forget about your dreams – My weekend in San Francisco.
My time living in Portland, OR has felt like a single blink of my eyes. I moved here in late August of 2013 and since then, I have constantly been studying for an exam or training for a martial arts competition. It’s been relentless and exhausting. That is, until a few weeks ago. I took … More A few words on my goals and accomplishments.
I knew I was pushing myself to my limit, but I thought I could handle it. My plan was to take my first set of board exams to become a licensed naturopathic doctor on a Tuesday and fight at a Muay Thai event on the following Saturday. From the moment my school term ended until … More It’s not about being unbreakable.
During my first week of medical school at NCNM, I met up with a veteran student to get some advice and ask about his experiences at the school. He kept mentioning the word “burnout” like it was a disease or something. Some virus that students inadvertently and unavoidably give to each other. A rite of passage … More Hi, I’m James and I suffer from burnout.
I’m a second-year medical student. And a fighter. Some would say I lead a dual life. I don’t see it that way, but there is definitely a giant gap between these two aspects of my life. I end up feeling a bit misunderstood. The people I train with mostly assume that I take a part-time … More 5 profound life lessons I learned from losing a Muay Thai fight.